Longing: A Reylo Moment
by scorpiomoonvibes
Summary: Oneshot. Takes place soon after The Last Jedi. An angsty, sad, bittersweet Ben Solo moment. Ben is thinking about Rey and is overcome with different emotions. My first published ff story but definitely not my first ff ever written. ;) please r&r!


"I'm here. Come back to me...," a voice called to him. "Please, Ben..."

He reached out a hand but found nothing.

Ben Solo awoke with a start, his neck and chest sweaty. His breath was ragged and quick as he pushed his wild hair back with a bare hand.

Emotions flurried through him. He had seen her face, heard her voice. She had been calling him, wanting him, wishing for him to come back to her. He had tried, but he had not found her in the dark dream. The peace and serenity that he normally experienced when in a Force bond with Rey flowed through his tired body; but as soon as it came, it was gone, replaced with rage and hatred for this girl that had ruined his world.

Heavy, heated breathing filled his ears before he realized it was his own. His hands clenched into fists. Fury filled him and broke him. Instantly, he was a whirlwind. Anything his hands could find was crushed, broken, beaten, torn. Holding one open hand out, his lightsaber was there within a moment. It flickered to life, and the storm continued until everything was demolished.

The breathing wasn't as difficult now; he could breathe easy again. Like the Dark Side had shown him, his anger had fueled the fire for his triumph over this weakness - Rey.

Rey.

Now, the breathing had stopped altogether.

Rey. Rey. Rey.

She was everything he wasn't - she was good, he wasn't. She was peace, he wasn't. She was life, he wasn't. Then, he had a separate, conflicting thought. She was nothing, he was everything.

He inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to ignore the face in his mind's eye with no success. The rage was building up again. These emotions were too strong, too volatile. He wanted her and wanted her to be with him. She was inherently good, wise, and strong. They would be the perfect match to rule the galaxy - light and dark ruling together, a perfect balance.

But she had betrayed him. She did not see the future as he did.

Why?

He could not understand.

Gazing out his window into the depths of space, perspiration glistened on his bare chest. He was in control now. Bewilderment at the thought of Rey not wanting to rule the galaxy with him somehow eased his mind into thought processing instead of fury. She was out there somewhere, perhaps far away, perhaps close. Her innocent face twisted into his view again, except this time it was real.

The Force was connecting them again. His heart pounded in relief and fascination.

She was asleep and looked awfully uncomfortable. Her breathing was ragged and shallow until her eyes popped open in surprise. She sat up and looked back at him from across space and time.

Ben couldn't say anything. What was there to say?

Her expression was unreadable and most likely intended that way. She said nothing either. There were no words spoken between them, but their eyes said everything. Ben didn't even try to gather information about her whereabouts. He was much too lost in her deep gaze.

Did she feel what he felt? It wasn't desire. It wasn't anger or hate. It wasn't concern about seeing him again so soon.

It was longing.

Longing for things to be different. Longing to be together but under different circumstances.

But they never would be.

Would they?

Ben sensed something stranger than the longing..what was it? He had to look away from her; he couldn't bear the disappointment in her gaze. He wished he could change that look of dissatisfaction. He wished he could change so many things.

Hope. That's what he felt - hope.

He looked back at her, searching for any ounce of hope within her features.

He saw nothing.

He was too far gone, and she was too far away.

Hurt, rejection, betrayal, disgust, anger, jealousy, loss, and of course, longing - all those emotions were present in her simple features.

But not hope.

She looked away, angry tears in her eyes, and she was gone.

And Ben had never felt so alone.


End file.
